I haven't been writing because I have been at war/in denial/pissed off/mostly crying with depression. Which sucks in case you are unfamiliar with it. I think for the last few months I have been trying to figure it out. The right prayer, the right counsel, the right plan that would somehow make it disappear. It hasn't worked. Thankfully I have friends and family that are helping me stay upright. I do have occasional flickers of hope that this too shall pass usually dependant on if the sun is out or if I have managed to shower. Today I brushed my teeth.
Things I usually blog but didn't:
Charlie turned 3.
We went to a cool bird place.
I potty trained Charlie (mostly) in 3 days using
this potty training method. I do NOT recommend if you are dancing around the edge of sanity mostly weeping cause it makes the whole ordeal a little intense. For those of you not frantically treading water in the depths of depression it works great.
Poppy turned five.
I am now going to attempt to put on pants.
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love you, friend- i'm sorry it has been so rough lately. praying for you right now (for more than just your pants-putting on, too)!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I also have to tread through the depression fog. Sometimes it is easier than other times. You are in my prayers. You are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you are struggling. Thank you for writing today in spite of your depression-your honesty makes me respect you even more. Plus, I've missed you.
ReplyDeleteThanks for updating! I, too, am so sorry you are struggling. You are making your way, though, because you had nice parties, did an activity, updated & your kids looks happy!
ReplyDeleteBrightside? Looks like you have a future kindergartener & preschooler on your hands!!! All those sensory disorders may qualify some of those cherubs for afterschool tutoring?? Sweeeeet freedom! Maybe that will help? Or your descent will just fuel your artistic creativity & your designs will be picked up by someone that will give you fistfulls of cash?? Yes? No?
Keep going! You are fabulous :)
I'm sorry to hear. Take care and remember how much we enjoy your blog!
ReplyDeletei have never written to you before or even visited here...found your sight thru gracefull mama. this is what i know...
ReplyDeleteat the gate of asher (which means happiness) there is a stronghold, it's
name is deppression. if you go to the Father in prayer and go to the "gate of asher" in prayer before the Father...
pray off the stronghold of depression. jus a simple prayer will do...
ask for this stronghold to be broken off of you, in the name of Jesus...
and then thank the Father and Jesus for what he is doing and for breaking the stronghold. you see...deppression is a shadow of feelings that hoover over us. we are not to live by our feelings, but by HIS word. a grateful heart is the key that opens the gates of asher...
so start praising HIM for the simple things, one at a time. jus thank HIM for them...heat in the house, food on the table, water for your toothbrush, things we take for granted. when i did this...i had been in a depressed state for weeks (over being dianogsed with cancer). you see
after i went to the gate of asher and talked to my Father there and then started putting my focus (by choice) on thanking HIM...the depression lefted off on me within minutes and then i recieved conformation, a beautiful rainbow appeared out my bedroom window...the rain left and the sun came out. i then got out of bed, finally.
you see, i am an artist and the Father has shown me that at the "gate of asher" there are certain colors...pink, orange and yellow. and when you are at this gate and the strongholds are gone...and you are praising HIM reguardless of how you feel or your circumstances...praising HIM for who HE is to you...there are rainbows.
they appear everywhere. i do hope you will be dancing soon before our Lord...HE loves to dance. take care and thank you for your time given in reading my words. terrie d.